Excuses

So I apologize for the lack of blogging to the few of you who read this. My lap top died a slow death that caused MS Word to load painfully slow and I started making excuses rather than blogs. Old comp did a noble thing and blue screened me enough to get a replacement (with dads help, Thanks dad). The trusty thing then let me get the unbaked-up pictures off its hard drive on one last activation. I honor its noble end and wish it a speedy trip to the computer after life of its choice.
The new machine, The Bradcomp, is wonderful. I have spent the last few days making it mine and playing games. Yes it was a colossal waist of time, and it was wonderful. The thing I am most enjoying is the ability to move my comp without losing power. Oldcomp’s battery died about a year ago so it was tied to a wall for use. It was still mobile so I didn’t think I was missing much, I was wrong. Being able to write, play games and plot stories ANYWHERE is really nice.
As cool as all this sounds the one problem is now I have no excuse for a lack of productivity. I could blame the hard time doing on line job searching on a slow machine, or an inability to make the old ting load the web pages in a timely manner. Now if I don’t get any of that done it is quite obviously MY fault not the computer. Word now loads quickly, so I can’t blame my unrecorded ideas on a slow machine. The machine is bight and new and its keys are still shiny so any problem lies with now with me.
“But Brad” I hear the more enlightened of you ask “surely you know that those excuses were false reasoning, and just a way for you to slack”
Yeah, well I do now. I honestly believed my excuse, until they were removed. Then I came up with a dozen reasons why the slow wait was NOT a good excuse. I could have simply shown a bit of patience and discipline. I could have borrowed a different computer, it’s not like MS word is a rare program. What amazed me was once the excuses were gone was how much I believed them. I never even question my actions (well actually lack of action). I am ashamed I let excuse slow me down, but more then that I am amazed at how little I questioned my motives while I allowed it.
The other shock was how emotionally devastated I was when the Oldcomp did the third blues screen of death. I actually nearly cried and had to remove myself to the desert to get control of my emotions. I was shocked at how attached I was to a material object. Once I was over the initial wave of emotion, I was angrier with myself for being that attached to an object. My lovely lady has since pointed out that Oldcomp had been a constant source of information and entertainment for several years and that I was only being human. She is right of course. Part of why we must balance heart with mind. If you are all heart you WILL break down over stuff like this. Being all head in this case wouldn’t be good either, I wouldn’t have been upset but I wouldn’t have properly enjoyed the computer during its “life”.
So out with the noble Oldcomp, in with the new Bradcomp. A process that caused far more self realization then I really think it should have. I am told it shows I am able to learn a life lesson from any situation. I know that’s a good thing, a really good thing even, but sometimes it’s a bit shocking, and just a tiny bit annoying. I wouldn’t stop it from happening, I just want the annoying part noted in a public forum (and now it has been).
Love and dog licks
Bradleyman