So I was thinking about some stuff that was upsetting me, political stuff mostly, when I decided to pull out A Guild for the Advanced Soul, a book with quotes from various people on various things. On the cover it says “Hold a problem in your mind. Open this book to any page and there will be your answer”. Well I have done this before and it works well. The secret of this book isn’t magic (it could be that too) but the fact that EVERY quote is a good one and even if it doesn’t apply to your thoughts, it’s still an up lifting quote that makes you feel better. Still about two out of three times it seems spot on. (for my more scientific friends I put in the word “seems” as I haven't actually done a test to check the numbers and YES I do know that my expectations can taint my perceptions) This time it hit me in the GUT, like it was a loan shark and I was a guy who had just lost a big bet. The quote it gave was this:
“Be aware of the reality of your feelings. As you become more aware of your beliefs over a period of them, you will see how they bring forth certain feelings automatically. A man who is sure of himself is NOT angry at every slight done to him, nor does he carry grudges. A man who fears for his own worth, however, IS furious under such conditions. The free flow of your emotions will always lead you back to your conscious beliefs if you do not impede them.”
Jane Roberts
“Ok, Bradleyman, what’s your point” I hear you ask “What has that quote to do with ANYTHING”
Glad you asked. I was becoming once again angry at both political parties (If you didn’t see that as part of the problem then this must be the first time you have read my blog, Welcome) and unreasonably so. The “I called you a traitor for not supporting the President during the Bush years, but say worse things about Obama and am too stupid to see it’s the same thing” branch of the Republicans and the “Look we are nicer then they are so please ignore the Two years we controlled the congress under Bush AND the fact that we can’t get ANYTHING done even with a president who matches us” Democrats, had combined in my head to make the “Two big groups who don’t have a single person capable of admitting that a mistake even could be made, much less need fixing” a monster that was causing me to RAGE. If we believe the above quote (and I do), that means I am unsure of my political position.
To quote the old Batman Show “,ZOT! POW BAM!!!!” WHAT!!! Ouch... It was true, I am uncertain. Despite planting my feet firmly on about three issues, and stubbornly refusing to be a party to either party, I am uncertain on A LOT of political stuff. I DO NOT have the answers for many issues, not do I know anyone who does. The one thing I am sure of, on a deeply personal level is that niter of the big two parties in this country have the answers either. However, that I know they are both wrong, doesn’t mean I have clue one what the right answers are, and not having those answers is indeed the source of my frustration which sadly keeps turning in to anger. Once it becomes anger I direct my energies at being mad rather than at a possible solution. Now I’m not saying I would have an idea or the energy to enact it, just because I had the idea, but I might, or some else might have the time and energy if I told them. However I CAN NOT have an idea while being pointlessly angry.
So what am I going to do? I am going to try to maintain my cool while becoming certain in my convictions. I am going to try to aloe the free flow of my emotions to lead me back to my conscious beliefs, and try not to impede them. This will be hard in the face or Republicans who think defending a traitorous war monger is in some way moral, or Democrats who think spending lots of the money while talking much and doing little is a good way to govern. It will be hard while I don’t have at least an idea of an answer to not attack the inaccurate ideas of both parties. It will be hard, and this paragraph shows me I have a long way to go. It will be hard, but it HAS to be better than being frustrated and disappointed. It will be hard BUT it will be worth it.
Now don’t fear reader this doesn’t mean I won’t be blogging or even that I won’t be ranting about these things in my blog. I have other things I can blog about and hopefully I can make my political rants amusing again. Also I have a LONG way to go and there is a still lot of time for both parties to annoy me.
However, my new goal is not to take quite so personally all of this political BS that is thrown at me by the big two. After all if they are angry enough to yell, or accuse the other side while ignoring their own problems, or post NOTHING but political comments, links, and blogs then they are according to the above NOT sure of themselves either, and knowing that about all of them (you?) I can relax a little.
So here’s to being calm and rational
Bradleyman
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
A and B
Hey out there in Blog land,
It’s me your friendly internet Bradleyman. I have developed a bit of a problem. I have a peeve, and indeed it is of the pet type. The worst part, I do it to, as a knee jerk reaction. Most of the time I try to edit myself before I say anything. I know I try to stop myself before I post or publish anything written, because I have had to stop myself so often.
“Ok Brad, stop the sphinx like riddling and get to the point!” I hear you say oh readers, and I respond with all of the speed and seriousness that this paragraph of two sentences one a quote and one an unending run on deserve.
The peeve is, using the actions of A to argue why B isn’t so bad. In this case A is either the Republicans or the Democrats and B is the other of the two.
I am an independent guy with a “devil’s advocate” type brain. So I often ask questions of people out in the world of the internet. During the election whenever I would ask a Republican about any of the issues I had with the party I would get a list of things that were wrong with the Democrats. I thought this was a Right Wing thing, until Obama got nominated. Once that happened any questions I asked of the Democrats became a list of things that were wrong with the Republicans. This second group I even backed at first. My politics are closer to “democrat” so I blinded myself, at first.
Thing is the Republicans doing this made me REALY nuts. So I started to say (well write) something and I relized I was about to respond by DOING THE EXACT SAME THING. This was January of this year, and I have spent the last few months sensitized to both sides doing this AND fighting my urge to use it. See thing is what the other party is doing has NO bearing on my problems with you and your party.
Let me explain, when two twelve year olds whom we will call AviDem and CarmenRep, get in to a fight and get caught. CarmenRep hit AviDem for taking her share of the lemonade stand. When confronted CarmenRep says “BUT she took my Money” and AviDem says “But she hit me first”. Now which or those two arguments keep a child out of time out? If you said neither well then you and I agree. The fact is both the theft and the fight were wrong and neither justifies the other.
Also most of the time this is a tactic used by the guilty, to use the 12 year olds as an example, AviDem almost currently DID take the money and there is about a 95% chance that CarmenRep threw the first punch. Just as in politics the Democrats are being “tax & Spend” and the Republicans are “business first, people second” in terms of thinking. So seeing as this is most often the tactic of the guilty I think from now I will treat it as such.
That’s right as of now if you used this tactic my new answer will be “So then since you changed the subject I must be right about your side.”
So Democrats spend too much on social stuff and Republicans like war.
Neither acts Christ like. Both have done things I think are wrong, and that I can argue hurt the country. Both have people who have called me Un-American, because I wouldn’t put their party before our country. Both have made hatful comments that they didn’t necessarily mean as hateful then told me to “get over it” when I complained, rather than apologizing as would be polite.
I am neither party. Both are wrong and damaging, and the fact that both sides can’t deny there crimes but instead list the crimes (and yes I am exaggerating when I use the word crimes) of the other side, is all the proof I require to not be a part of EITHER.
So any who I hope to be lighter hearted next time,
Bradleyman
It’s me your friendly internet Bradleyman. I have developed a bit of a problem. I have a peeve, and indeed it is of the pet type. The worst part, I do it to, as a knee jerk reaction. Most of the time I try to edit myself before I say anything. I know I try to stop myself before I post or publish anything written, because I have had to stop myself so often.
“Ok Brad, stop the sphinx like riddling and get to the point!” I hear you say oh readers, and I respond with all of the speed and seriousness that this paragraph of two sentences one a quote and one an unending run on deserve.
The peeve is, using the actions of A to argue why B isn’t so bad. In this case A is either the Republicans or the Democrats and B is the other of the two.
I am an independent guy with a “devil’s advocate” type brain. So I often ask questions of people out in the world of the internet. During the election whenever I would ask a Republican about any of the issues I had with the party I would get a list of things that were wrong with the Democrats. I thought this was a Right Wing thing, until Obama got nominated. Once that happened any questions I asked of the Democrats became a list of things that were wrong with the Republicans. This second group I even backed at first. My politics are closer to “democrat” so I blinded myself, at first.
Thing is the Republicans doing this made me REALY nuts. So I started to say (well write) something and I relized I was about to respond by DOING THE EXACT SAME THING. This was January of this year, and I have spent the last few months sensitized to both sides doing this AND fighting my urge to use it. See thing is what the other party is doing has NO bearing on my problems with you and your party.
Let me explain, when two twelve year olds whom we will call AviDem and CarmenRep, get in to a fight and get caught. CarmenRep hit AviDem for taking her share of the lemonade stand. When confronted CarmenRep says “BUT she took my Money” and AviDem says “But she hit me first”. Now which or those two arguments keep a child out of time out? If you said neither well then you and I agree. The fact is both the theft and the fight were wrong and neither justifies the other.
Also most of the time this is a tactic used by the guilty, to use the 12 year olds as an example, AviDem almost currently DID take the money and there is about a 95% chance that CarmenRep threw the first punch. Just as in politics the Democrats are being “tax & Spend” and the Republicans are “business first, people second” in terms of thinking. So seeing as this is most often the tactic of the guilty I think from now I will treat it as such.
That’s right as of now if you used this tactic my new answer will be “So then since you changed the subject I must be right about your side.”
So Democrats spend too much on social stuff and Republicans like war.
Neither acts Christ like. Both have done things I think are wrong, and that I can argue hurt the country. Both have people who have called me Un-American, because I wouldn’t put their party before our country. Both have made hatful comments that they didn’t necessarily mean as hateful then told me to “get over it” when I complained, rather than apologizing as would be polite.
I am neither party. Both are wrong and damaging, and the fact that both sides can’t deny there crimes but instead list the crimes (and yes I am exaggerating when I use the word crimes) of the other side, is all the proof I require to not be a part of EITHER.
So any who I hope to be lighter hearted next time,
Bradleyman
Monday, July 13, 2009
PB
(Activate: Cheesy Announcer Voice, Eighty’s) It’s Monday Jul. 11th 2009 SOOOOOO Lets Play everybody’s favorite game show: (Add pre recorded “crowd” shouting with C.A.V.E) “BLOGING WITH BRADLEYMAN!!!!!!!” (Deactivate “crowd” voices cue canned applause) With your host….Faster than a speeding…oh hey you know he is……..BRADLEYMAN!!!!! (Up canned applause for .5 seconds then slow fade to sound “organic”)(Deactivate C.A.V.E)
Hi everyone and welcome to Blogging with Bradleyman, I’ll me your host, Brad “Bradleyman” Null.
So before we jump in to the “HAPPY” part of this blog (and my one goal with this particular blog is to try and spread HAPPY to all who want some) a quick note. In my last blog I posted a hate letter, I had received, and a lot of you out there (well a lot for my current audience as I understand it) were apologetic and or concerned. I reported it to Facebook they sent me an automatic e-mail and as long as I never hear from her again, I consider the mater closed. It’s not the worst I have ever got but it did surprise me. It’s not the reason most lunatics choose to hate me for. I do thank everyone for your support and kind thoughts, I really was more amused than upset BUT had I been truly up set it’s nice to know you all were there.
SO now on with the Blog:
I was watching The Princes Bride again few weeks back and I had a series of thoughts about what is one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE MOVIES. Now before we go on yes I am possibly going to be critical of some of what happens in the movie, if you are a fan to the film and loyal to the point you could be mistaken for a “Twilight Girl” or “Marvel Dude”, then stop reading. No really stop right now! OK, but you were warned and if you respond in any way I may mock you.
My first thought; “This movie ACTULY rocks more in wide screen”. I missed the Film in theatres and I am pretty sure I never saw it in wide screen until this year. It was almost like watching a “NEW AND IMPROVED” version of the film. When you have seen a film as often as I have this one, And I once had a roommate* who watched it weekly and recited the lines from the Nintendo sound effect to grandpa’s “as you wish”, you start to kind of half watch it, the new format caused me to pay attention in a way I haven’t for years (well except for the parts with Fezzik and/ or Inigo) and that led to the rest of these thoughts.
Second thought; “for all her beauty, Buttercup is useless.” She starts out crewel, then becomes demanding, then gives up hope, then in the swamp she nearly gets Westly killed then pokes at R.O.U.S. with a stick while he fights. I have had this thought before and even blogged about so, we will move on.
Third thought; “this movie is SOOOOOOO COOL”. This is more of a constant under-thought to any thought I have while watching this film. I just thought you should be aware that my inner child goes nuts for this like it’s a mid 80’ X-men comic (you know the ones I think are BEST cause’ they came out when I was a kid).
Forth thought; Now I had this thought as Westly was knocked unconscious by the five fingered man. It so upset my being that I had to go back and re watch the timing. (thank you FiOS for letting me, as I no longer have a VHS on which to play my copy**) SO I went back and watched. The quote is “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” It’s a quote used by MANY of my friends. They all seem to think it’s a great life philosophy. The quote is often used to justify actions that have caused pain. Now first off using ANY quote from ANY movie as if it is proof of something is questionable at best. Secondly, seconds later, Westly/The man in Black, no longer believes it. The MOMENT he tumbles down that hill saying “As you wish”, which means “I love you” as established earlier by grandpa, he no longer believes that “life is pain”. Furthermore, the point of the movie is that “love conquers all”. The “all” in question includes “pain”. No Italian I know quotes Vizzini’s line about Sicilians and Death, WHY because he dies seconds later, disproving his statement. Seconds later (as if to even suggest that it too might be a false but believed statement) we get the “life is pain” quote. Seconds after that “as you wish”/”I love you” showing he no longer believes.
So to everyone who has ever used the “life is pain” quote to punctuate an argument where I was naive for believing something different; “HEY the entire point of that quote in the movie was that it was WRONG, using it just proves that you are both wrong and ignorant of what you are quoting. If you are provably wrong and ignorant in the use of your “witty pop culture” quote, then why should I trust ANYTHING you say, especially about the nature of what life “IS”? I hope all the people who have done that read this blog that was way too much to rewrite and repeat too often.
Fifth thought; “as long as we have rewind let’s watch the full screen version of the sword fight on the cliffs. THAT’S so COOL.” (repeat 5 or 6 times until you start trying to argue with yourself as to which is better this sword fight or the one in the Blacksmiths shop in the first Pirates of the Caribbean, cliffs win this week but I am fickle)
Sixth thought; “Billy Crystal is the funniest part of this…..OH wait second Carol Cain as “HIS WIFE!!, but I don’t even want to be that any more” may beat him…EH the characters are married will call it a tie.” ‘Nuff said.
Seventh thought; “Yeah why didn’t you count the wheelbarrow as an asset” The cloak I understand, but a wheelbarrow is useful in the construction of a ramming device at the very least. You don’t have to be MR. “I am descended from Ulysses and my ancestors will be The Fox and The Bat” ***to know that.
Eighth thought; “hello, my name is….OH dear gods it’s stuck in my head again!!!!” I love the Inigo/ five finger man fight. Watching Inigo come back to life to finish the “son of a bitch” who took his father is one of the greatest moments in film. That said, once I watch the move, for weeks, sometimes mouths EVERY time someone says “hello” the quote (you know the one) finishes it’s self in my head. If anyone else has this problem let me know, if not I may need to seek therapy.
Ninth thought; (upon viewing the “to the pain” moment and in reference to my forth thought) “See the movie admits there is pain, the threat of it can even help love win”. This was me in my head still arguing with all of those who think my happy outlook is naive. (which by the by is counterproductive to the whole “happy” thing, and is totally my bad as it’s all in my head—sigh--) This thought is mostly redundant, and I wouldn’t even mention it, if it hadn’t of led to my next thought.
Tenth thought; (after having thought nine while watching Westly offer the “Dread Pirate Roberts” identity to Inigo) “Hey wait, this may be a ‘love conquers all’ movie but this is NOT a good defeats evil movie.” That’s right, there are no real “good guys” in this movie. Buttercup is pretty and loving, AFTER being love changed her from the crewel girl she was in the beginning and changed or not she is WORTHLES in the fire swamps and a whiner every second she is not in Westley’s presence. Westly, while the champion for love (once he pulls his head out of his…um mask), IS still the current Dread Pirate Roberts, who doesn’t leave prisoners and therefore is a killer. Fezzik, and Inigo start off as killer henchmen. Inigo’s entire life is about murderous revenge. In the end they all go on to better lives as they have been touched by love and friend ship. However were they a “force for good”? Yes they stopped the evil of the Prince, and stopping evil IS a good thing, but not one of them was motivated by “Good”. Inigo was there for revenge. Fezzik was motivated by friendship#. Westly was there strictly for Love#. NO ONE was there to stop the prince’s evil plan to create a war. LOVE beats evil. In the process it accidently does some greater good. However “good” does not win the day this time, “love” does.
Well there you have it, my ten thoughts upon (re-re-re-re-) viewing one of the world’s greatest movies. I have to say I think I like the “love conquers evil, so good won’t have too” message, even if it took me over 20 years of re watching (a minimum of twice a year) to put words to it.
“As you wish”
Bradleyman
*-Yes, you Mr. S living in the red woods now, I mean YOU. Any other roommate from the past nope not you.
**- yeah I still have the tape but no way to play it…I once mocked people who did this same thing with * track tapes…I apologize to all of you, caus’ rational or not I’m not letting go of my useless plastic and magnetic tape.
***- Zorro and Batman for the adventure impaired”
#- a type of good but not a “stop the evil monarch” sort of good.
Hi everyone and welcome to Blogging with Bradleyman, I’ll me your host, Brad “Bradleyman” Null.
So before we jump in to the “HAPPY” part of this blog (and my one goal with this particular blog is to try and spread HAPPY to all who want some) a quick note. In my last blog I posted a hate letter, I had received, and a lot of you out there (well a lot for my current audience as I understand it) were apologetic and or concerned. I reported it to Facebook they sent me an automatic e-mail and as long as I never hear from her again, I consider the mater closed. It’s not the worst I have ever got but it did surprise me. It’s not the reason most lunatics choose to hate me for. I do thank everyone for your support and kind thoughts, I really was more amused than upset BUT had I been truly up set it’s nice to know you all were there.
SO now on with the Blog:
I was watching The Princes Bride again few weeks back and I had a series of thoughts about what is one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE MOVIES. Now before we go on yes I am possibly going to be critical of some of what happens in the movie, if you are a fan to the film and loyal to the point you could be mistaken for a “Twilight Girl” or “Marvel Dude”, then stop reading. No really stop right now! OK, but you were warned and if you respond in any way I may mock you.
My first thought; “This movie ACTULY rocks more in wide screen”. I missed the Film in theatres and I am pretty sure I never saw it in wide screen until this year. It was almost like watching a “NEW AND IMPROVED” version of the film. When you have seen a film as often as I have this one, And I once had a roommate* who watched it weekly and recited the lines from the Nintendo sound effect to grandpa’s “as you wish”, you start to kind of half watch it, the new format caused me to pay attention in a way I haven’t for years (well except for the parts with Fezzik and/ or Inigo) and that led to the rest of these thoughts.
Second thought; “for all her beauty, Buttercup is useless.” She starts out crewel, then becomes demanding, then gives up hope, then in the swamp she nearly gets Westly killed then pokes at R.O.U.S. with a stick while he fights. I have had this thought before and even blogged about so, we will move on.
Third thought; “this movie is SOOOOOOO COOL”. This is more of a constant under-thought to any thought I have while watching this film. I just thought you should be aware that my inner child goes nuts for this like it’s a mid 80’ X-men comic (you know the ones I think are BEST cause’ they came out when I was a kid).
Forth thought; Now I had this thought as Westly was knocked unconscious by the five fingered man. It so upset my being that I had to go back and re watch the timing. (thank you FiOS for letting me, as I no longer have a VHS on which to play my copy**) SO I went back and watched. The quote is “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” It’s a quote used by MANY of my friends. They all seem to think it’s a great life philosophy. The quote is often used to justify actions that have caused pain. Now first off using ANY quote from ANY movie as if it is proof of something is questionable at best. Secondly, seconds later, Westly/The man in Black, no longer believes it. The MOMENT he tumbles down that hill saying “As you wish”, which means “I love you” as established earlier by grandpa, he no longer believes that “life is pain”. Furthermore, the point of the movie is that “love conquers all”. The “all” in question includes “pain”. No Italian I know quotes Vizzini’s line about Sicilians and Death, WHY because he dies seconds later, disproving his statement. Seconds later (as if to even suggest that it too might be a false but believed statement) we get the “life is pain” quote. Seconds after that “as you wish”/”I love you” showing he no longer believes.
So to everyone who has ever used the “life is pain” quote to punctuate an argument where I was naive for believing something different; “HEY the entire point of that quote in the movie was that it was WRONG, using it just proves that you are both wrong and ignorant of what you are quoting. If you are provably wrong and ignorant in the use of your “witty pop culture” quote, then why should I trust ANYTHING you say, especially about the nature of what life “IS”? I hope all the people who have done that read this blog that was way too much to rewrite and repeat too often.
Fifth thought; “as long as we have rewind let’s watch the full screen version of the sword fight on the cliffs. THAT’S so COOL.” (repeat 5 or 6 times until you start trying to argue with yourself as to which is better this sword fight or the one in the Blacksmiths shop in the first Pirates of the Caribbean, cliffs win this week but I am fickle)
Sixth thought; “Billy Crystal is the funniest part of this…..OH wait second Carol Cain as “HIS WIFE!!, but I don’t even want to be that any more” may beat him…EH the characters are married will call it a tie.” ‘Nuff said.
Seventh thought; “Yeah why didn’t you count the wheelbarrow as an asset” The cloak I understand, but a wheelbarrow is useful in the construction of a ramming device at the very least. You don’t have to be MR. “I am descended from Ulysses and my ancestors will be The Fox and The Bat” ***to know that.
Eighth thought; “hello, my name is….OH dear gods it’s stuck in my head again!!!!” I love the Inigo/ five finger man fight. Watching Inigo come back to life to finish the “son of a bitch” who took his father is one of the greatest moments in film. That said, once I watch the move, for weeks, sometimes mouths EVERY time someone says “hello” the quote (you know the one) finishes it’s self in my head. If anyone else has this problem let me know, if not I may need to seek therapy.
Ninth thought; (upon viewing the “to the pain” moment and in reference to my forth thought) “See the movie admits there is pain, the threat of it can even help love win”. This was me in my head still arguing with all of those who think my happy outlook is naive. (which by the by is counterproductive to the whole “happy” thing, and is totally my bad as it’s all in my head—sigh--) This thought is mostly redundant, and I wouldn’t even mention it, if it hadn’t of led to my next thought.
Tenth thought; (after having thought nine while watching Westly offer the “Dread Pirate Roberts” identity to Inigo) “Hey wait, this may be a ‘love conquers all’ movie but this is NOT a good defeats evil movie.” That’s right, there are no real “good guys” in this movie. Buttercup is pretty and loving, AFTER being love changed her from the crewel girl she was in the beginning and changed or not she is WORTHLES in the fire swamps and a whiner every second she is not in Westley’s presence. Westly, while the champion for love (once he pulls his head out of his…um mask), IS still the current Dread Pirate Roberts, who doesn’t leave prisoners and therefore is a killer. Fezzik, and Inigo start off as killer henchmen. Inigo’s entire life is about murderous revenge. In the end they all go on to better lives as they have been touched by love and friend ship. However were they a “force for good”? Yes they stopped the evil of the Prince, and stopping evil IS a good thing, but not one of them was motivated by “Good”. Inigo was there for revenge. Fezzik was motivated by friendship#. Westly was there strictly for Love#. NO ONE was there to stop the prince’s evil plan to create a war. LOVE beats evil. In the process it accidently does some greater good. However “good” does not win the day this time, “love” does.
Well there you have it, my ten thoughts upon (re-re-re-re-) viewing one of the world’s greatest movies. I have to say I think I like the “love conquers evil, so good won’t have too” message, even if it took me over 20 years of re watching (a minimum of twice a year) to put words to it.
“As you wish”
Bradleyman
*-Yes, you Mr. S living in the red woods now, I mean YOU. Any other roommate from the past nope not you.
**- yeah I still have the tape but no way to play it…I once mocked people who did this same thing with * track tapes…I apologize to all of you, caus’ rational or not I’m not letting go of my useless plastic and magnetic tape.
***- Zorro and Batman for the adventure impaired”
#- a type of good but not a “stop the evil monarch” sort of good.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Our Age
July 3, 2009
Well I was going to wait till the 12th of July to post anything. I figured it would be a full month from when I turned 40 and two days after my lady turned old enough to drink. Now for those who don’t know, this is not a case of me robbing the cradle this is a case of the cradle robbing me. I pushed her away for two years when she was too young, and then when she turned 18, I agreed to one date. My honest thought at the time was she would get board and I would have an interesting 6 to 8 months.
So, why the “early” blog with the sweet, beautiful, story of how me and my lady got together? Well, apparently large numbers of people have an issue with the age difference. Now I am not surprised by this, heck when we got together I had issues with the age difference. I am (do the math) old enough to be her dad and that is a bit odd. We did work through it and now it’s just one of the quirks of our relationship. I have never know a relationship to not have some weird quirk, ours is just more obvious. So no I am not surprised that people have issues with this, but sometimes the actual issues surprise me, when they are presented to me.
I say “presented” because I get reaction both in the real world and on the web, so it comes both verbally and written. I also say “presented” because the more intense ones work up what can only be called a “presentation”, it two of these reactions, both of which happened within the last two weeks, that inspired me to post this. A quick disclaimer, most people have a reaction of somewhere between “good for you” and “weird but not my relationship”, and most who have issues are polite IF they bring it up, and are often genuinely concerned for one of us over an “age myth” that they believe. The following two reactions are not of that polite level.
The first comes from Facebook. If you are reading this there is a better than average chance you are reading it ON Facebook or are at least familiar with the site. In case you are not, it’s a social networking site, and your relationship line links to your significant other. Our age must be available somehow (it doesn’t seem obvious to me as I quick glance at my profile BUT) as a user, who is not on my friends list, and who’s name I won’t use on the off chance they are sue happy or nuts, left me the following:
“Dear Pedophile for Satan,
How dare you corrupt a child like that? Your relationship is condemned by Christ. You will be suffer for all eternity for rapeing that child and ruining her for a good man. You probably support the gays. You are a vile piece of child molesting crap. I hope she wises up and leaves you before you kill her for Satan. I hate you as Christ orders us to hate all demon worshipers.
In loving Christ’s name,”
I was saving this for a “crazy hate mail” blog, but I don’t get enough hate mail to justify that. I have never seen this level of “false Christian” outside of a forum somehow about religion. So let’s take this a step at a time.
1) Pedophile for Satan: OK, first of all, pet peeve, just because I don’t worship in your fashion does NOT mean I am a Satanist or in any other way “for Satan”. Second, “Pedophile”, really? Even IF I had nasty 12 hour sex sessions with her when we first net it would be Ephebophilia at best. Second both me and my lady over 18, so by ANY definition not a Pedophile. Everything I say here applies to the “How dare you corrupt a child like that?” question as well.
2) Your relationship is condemned by Christ: Seriously, Christ?, WHERE? I mean in the Bible where does it say “Do not lie with those not in your age group”, or “let not those of two separate an age come together”. I am relatively sure there is nothing about age differences in the Bible. I know however from my own recent research, that Christ said almost nothing about marriage. So it might (but I doubt it) be in the Bible, but Christ didn’t say it. So it is not Christ doing the condemning.
3). you will be suffer for all eternity for rapeing that child and ruining her for a good man: Well the grammar is so bad here that even non-grammar Nazi, me has to point it out. The accusation of “rape” is the first thing that made me decide to report this person to the Facebook powers that be. It is not a word to be thrown around lightly in my opinion. To even suggest it IS HATEFUL. Then to suggest that victims of rape are “ruined” is offensive as well. I HATE the “you are a ruined slut cause you didn’t fight hard enough” mentality and that is what we have here. I may not be a “good man” but at least I don’t backhandedly blame the victims of the crimes I cheapen by falsely accusing people of them.
4) You probably support the gays: Yes I do, And…?
5) You are a vile piece of child molesting crap: see point one.
6) I hope she wises up and leaves you before you kill her for Satan: Ok first half I get, you don’t approve and want her to leave me. However “KILL HER FOR SATAN”??????? WTF, leaving aside my pet peeve from 1 above, how did I become a potential murderer?
7) I hate you as Christ orders us to hate all demon worshipers: Ok seeing as how this little e-mail didn’t mention Jesus but only Christ, is it possible our author means some Christ other then Jesus. I only ask because to my knowledge, Jesus was really big on NOT HATEING any one. The fact that I don’t worship any demons is secondary here, pet peeve or not. I have recently been reading the Bible, and Jesus Christ, (regardless of weather you view him as Savior of character in a bestselling novel) was opposed to hate. He never did ask for hate, and never would.
8) In loving Christ’s name: This was in NO ONE’S “loving name”
Now I want it to be clear here. I DO NOT consider this person a Christian. I think they are crazy person who believes the stuff they make up, in his case about what the Bible says. This person obviously doesn’t know what’s in the Bible, or is using some weird Bible in which a Christ (who may or may not be Jesus) thinks hating is cool.
So to move on to the second “presentation”, this one happened in real life, and there was beer involved, so we are relying on my memory of the event. Let me assure you before we start, this one is far more fun and amusing then the last.
The setting: The garage of the guy (friend of friend) who I am talking too, after one “chugged for speed” beer and for me an additional half a beer. I had got there late so I was WAY behind:
ME: < Rambling about Ren. Faire and good beer and being a smartass> Blah Blah…My lady can’t drink yet so she drives. It convenient like that
Him: Dude your chick is underage, isn’t that illegal?
Me: Ummmm no she’s over 18.
Him: Well the girls on the internet have to be 21 or the police will get you for child porn.
Me: The age of consent in Ca. is 18, it’s legal.
Him: you mean you can DO them before you can get them drunk? (As a joke) I can’t seem to get a woman without getting her drunk first, so how would that work for me?
Me: (laughing) Yeah I can see your problem.
Him: So are her friends hot too?
Me: ummmm well I suppose, we have a lot of mutual friends from Ren.Faire, so
Him: No I mean like hot friends, her age you could have threesomes with; Girls her age are ALL in to that.
Me: (trying not to make a comment about how he just said he thought was Illegal so how would he know) I don’t think she has any friends like that, She’s not in to that sort of thing.
Him: So you guy don’t…. (I forget the phrase he used, but it was too good to replace so put your favorite term for sex here)
Me: Uh yeah but…just us.
Him: really?? I thought girls that age who put out were ALL in to group stuff?
Me…
And then I changed the subject.
Now that’s not exact but it’s really close. The term “child porn” is a quote, as is the last statement by him. The rest is pulled from a buzzed memory so may be off, but not by much. Also to be fair, he was slurring his words in a fashion that suggested he had consumed far more beer then I had.
So yeah, that my pair of “age caused weirdness” stories. If they hadn’t of happened so close together I would have let it slide, but two like that in two weeks…MY readers must know. Just to be clear these are extreme reactions, not typical. Most people could care less about the age difference. I just thought I would share some themed madness while both stories were fresh.
Bradleyman
Well I was going to wait till the 12th of July to post anything. I figured it would be a full month from when I turned 40 and two days after my lady turned old enough to drink. Now for those who don’t know, this is not a case of me robbing the cradle this is a case of the cradle robbing me. I pushed her away for two years when she was too young, and then when she turned 18, I agreed to one date. My honest thought at the time was she would get board and I would have an interesting 6 to 8 months.
So, why the “early” blog with the sweet, beautiful, story of how me and my lady got together? Well, apparently large numbers of people have an issue with the age difference. Now I am not surprised by this, heck when we got together I had issues with the age difference. I am (do the math) old enough to be her dad and that is a bit odd. We did work through it and now it’s just one of the quirks of our relationship. I have never know a relationship to not have some weird quirk, ours is just more obvious. So no I am not surprised that people have issues with this, but sometimes the actual issues surprise me, when they are presented to me.
I say “presented” because I get reaction both in the real world and on the web, so it comes both verbally and written. I also say “presented” because the more intense ones work up what can only be called a “presentation”, it two of these reactions, both of which happened within the last two weeks, that inspired me to post this. A quick disclaimer, most people have a reaction of somewhere between “good for you” and “weird but not my relationship”, and most who have issues are polite IF they bring it up, and are often genuinely concerned for one of us over an “age myth” that they believe. The following two reactions are not of that polite level.
The first comes from Facebook. If you are reading this there is a better than average chance you are reading it ON Facebook or are at least familiar with the site. In case you are not, it’s a social networking site, and your relationship line links to your significant other. Our age must be available somehow (it doesn’t seem obvious to me as I quick glance at my profile BUT) as a user, who is not on my friends list, and who’s name I won’t use on the off chance they are sue happy or nuts, left me the following:
“Dear Pedophile for Satan,
How dare you corrupt a child like that? Your relationship is condemned by Christ. You will be suffer for all eternity for rapeing that child and ruining her for a good man. You probably support the gays. You are a vile piece of child molesting crap. I hope she wises up and leaves you before you kill her for Satan. I hate you as Christ orders us to hate all demon worshipers.
In loving Christ’s name,”
I was saving this for a “crazy hate mail” blog, but I don’t get enough hate mail to justify that. I have never seen this level of “false Christian” outside of a forum somehow about religion. So let’s take this a step at a time.
1) Pedophile for Satan: OK, first of all, pet peeve, just because I don’t worship in your fashion does NOT mean I am a Satanist or in any other way “for Satan”. Second, “Pedophile”, really? Even IF I had nasty 12 hour sex sessions with her when we first net it would be Ephebophilia at best. Second both me and my lady over 18, so by ANY definition not a Pedophile. Everything I say here applies to the “How dare you corrupt a child like that?” question as well.
2) Your relationship is condemned by Christ: Seriously, Christ?, WHERE? I mean in the Bible where does it say “Do not lie with those not in your age group”, or “let not those of two separate an age come together”. I am relatively sure there is nothing about age differences in the Bible. I know however from my own recent research, that Christ said almost nothing about marriage. So it might (but I doubt it) be in the Bible, but Christ didn’t say it. So it is not Christ doing the condemning.
3). you will be suffer for all eternity for rapeing that child and ruining her for a good man: Well the grammar is so bad here that even non-grammar Nazi, me has to point it out. The accusation of “rape” is the first thing that made me decide to report this person to the Facebook powers that be. It is not a word to be thrown around lightly in my opinion. To even suggest it IS HATEFUL. Then to suggest that victims of rape are “ruined” is offensive as well. I HATE the “you are a ruined slut cause you didn’t fight hard enough” mentality and that is what we have here. I may not be a “good man” but at least I don’t backhandedly blame the victims of the crimes I cheapen by falsely accusing people of them.
4) You probably support the gays: Yes I do, And…?
5) You are a vile piece of child molesting crap: see point one.
6) I hope she wises up and leaves you before you kill her for Satan: Ok first half I get, you don’t approve and want her to leave me. However “KILL HER FOR SATAN”??????? WTF, leaving aside my pet peeve from 1 above, how did I become a potential murderer?
7) I hate you as Christ orders us to hate all demon worshipers: Ok seeing as how this little e-mail didn’t mention Jesus but only Christ, is it possible our author means some Christ other then Jesus. I only ask because to my knowledge, Jesus was really big on NOT HATEING any one. The fact that I don’t worship any demons is secondary here, pet peeve or not. I have recently been reading the Bible, and Jesus Christ, (regardless of weather you view him as Savior of character in a bestselling novel) was opposed to hate. He never did ask for hate, and never would.
8) In loving Christ’s name: This was in NO ONE’S “loving name”
Now I want it to be clear here. I DO NOT consider this person a Christian. I think they are crazy person who believes the stuff they make up, in his case about what the Bible says. This person obviously doesn’t know what’s in the Bible, or is using some weird Bible in which a Christ (who may or may not be Jesus) thinks hating is cool.
So to move on to the second “presentation”, this one happened in real life, and there was beer involved, so we are relying on my memory of the event. Let me assure you before we start, this one is far more fun and amusing then the last.
The setting: The garage of the guy (friend of friend) who I am talking too, after one “chugged for speed” beer and for me an additional half a beer. I had got there late so I was WAY behind:
ME: < Rambling about Ren. Faire and good beer and being a smartass> Blah Blah…My lady can’t drink yet so she drives. It convenient like that
Him: Dude your chick is underage, isn’t that illegal?
Me: Ummmm no she’s over 18.
Him: Well the girls on the internet have to be 21 or the police will get you for child porn.
Me: The age of consent in Ca. is 18, it’s legal.
Him: you mean you can DO them before you can get them drunk? (As a joke) I can’t seem to get a woman without getting her drunk first, so how would that work for me?
Me: (laughing) Yeah I can see your problem.
Him: So are her friends hot too?
Me: ummmm well I suppose, we have a lot of mutual friends from Ren.Faire, so
Him: No I mean like hot friends, her age you could have threesomes with; Girls her age are ALL in to that.
Me: (trying not to make a comment about how he just said he thought was Illegal so how would he know) I don’t think she has any friends like that, She’s not in to that sort of thing.
Him: So you guy don’t…. (I forget the phrase he used, but it was too good to replace so put your favorite term for sex here)
Me: Uh yeah but…just us.
Him: really?? I thought girls that age who put out were ALL in to group stuff?
Me…
And then I changed the subject.
Now that’s not exact but it’s really close. The term “child porn” is a quote, as is the last statement by him. The rest is pulled from a buzzed memory so may be off, but not by much. Also to be fair, he was slurring his words in a fashion that suggested he had consumed far more beer then I had.
So yeah, that my pair of “age caused weirdness” stories. If they hadn’t of happened so close together I would have let it slide, but two like that in two weeks…MY readers must know. Just to be clear these are extreme reactions, not typical. Most people could care less about the age difference. I just thought I would share some themed madness while both stories were fresh.
Bradleyman
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)