Our Age

July 3, 2009
Well I was going to wait till the 12th of July to post anything. I figured it would be a full month from when I turned 40 and two days after my lady turned old enough to drink. Now for those who don’t know, this is not a case of me robbing the cradle this is a case of the cradle robbing me. I pushed her away for two years when she was too young, and then when she turned 18, I agreed to one date. My honest thought at the time was she would get board and I would have an interesting 6 to 8 months.
So, why the “early” blog with the sweet, beautiful, story of how me and my lady got together? Well, apparently large numbers of people have an issue with the age difference. Now I am not surprised by this, heck when we got together I had issues with the age difference. I am (do the math) old enough to be her dad and that is a bit odd. We did work through it and now it’s just one of the quirks of our relationship. I have never know a relationship to not have some weird quirk, ours is just more obvious. So no I am not surprised that people have issues with this, but sometimes the actual issues surprise me, when they are presented to me.
I say “presented” because I get reaction both in the real world and on the web, so it comes both verbally and written. I also say “presented” because the more intense ones work up what can only be called a “presentation”, it two of these reactions, both of which happened within the last two weeks, that inspired me to post this. A quick disclaimer, most people have a reaction of somewhere between “good for you” and “weird but not my relationship”, and most who have issues are polite IF they bring it up, and are often genuinely concerned for one of us over an “age myth” that they believe. The following two reactions are not of that polite level.
The first comes from Facebook. If you are reading this there is a better than average chance you are reading it ON Facebook or are at least familiar with the site. In case you are not, it’s a social networking site, and your relationship line links to your significant other. Our age must be available somehow (it doesn’t seem obvious to me as I quick glance at my profile BUT) as a user, who is not on my friends list, and who’s name I won’t use on the off chance they are sue happy or nuts, left me the following:
“Dear Pedophile for Satan,
How dare you corrupt a child like that? Your relationship is condemned by Christ. You will be suffer for all eternity for rapeing that child and ruining her for a good man. You probably support the gays. You are a vile piece of child molesting crap. I hope she wises up and leaves you before you kill her for Satan. I hate you as Christ orders us to hate all demon worshipers.
In loving Christ’s name,”
I was saving this for a “crazy hate mail” blog, but I don’t get enough hate mail to justify that. I have never seen this level of “false Christian” outside of a forum somehow about religion. So let’s take this a step at a time.
1) Pedophile for Satan: OK, first of all, pet peeve, just because I don’t worship in your fashion does NOT mean I am a Satanist or in any other way “for Satan”. Second, “Pedophile”, really? Even IF I had nasty 12 hour sex sessions with her when we first net it would be Ephebophilia at best. Second both me and my lady over 18, so by ANY definition not a Pedophile. Everything I say here applies to the “How dare you corrupt a child like that?” question as well.
2) Your relationship is condemned by Christ: Seriously, Christ?, WHERE? I mean in the Bible where does it say “Do not lie with those not in your age group”, or “let not those of two separate an age come together”. I am relatively sure there is nothing about age differences in the Bible. I know however from my own recent research, that Christ said almost nothing about marriage. So it might (but I doubt it) be in the Bible, but Christ didn’t say it. So it is not Christ doing the condemning.
3). you will be suffer for all eternity for rapeing that child and ruining her for a good man: Well the grammar is so bad here that even non-grammar Nazi, me has to point it out. The accusation of “rape” is the first thing that made me decide to report this person to the Facebook powers that be. It is not a word to be thrown around lightly in my opinion. To even suggest it IS HATEFUL. Then to suggest that victims of rape are “ruined” is offensive as well. I HATE the “you are a ruined slut cause you didn’t fight hard enough” mentality and that is what we have here. I may not be a “good man” but at least I don’t backhandedly blame the victims of the crimes I cheapen by falsely accusing people of them.
4) You probably support the gays: Yes I do, And…?
5) You are a vile piece of child molesting crap: see point one.
6) I hope she wises up and leaves you before you kill her for Satan: Ok first half I get, you don’t approve and want her to leave me. However “KILL HER FOR SATAN”??????? WTF, leaving aside my pet peeve from 1 above, how did I become a potential murderer?
7) I hate you as Christ orders us to hate all demon worshipers: Ok seeing as how this little e-mail didn’t mention Jesus but only Christ, is it possible our author means some Christ other then Jesus. I only ask because to my knowledge, Jesus was really big on NOT HATEING any one. The fact that I don’t worship any demons is secondary here, pet peeve or not. I have recently been reading the Bible, and Jesus Christ, (regardless of weather you view him as Savior of character in a bestselling novel) was opposed to hate. He never did ask for hate, and never would.
8) In loving Christ’s name: This was in NO ONE’S “loving name”
Now I want it to be clear here. I DO NOT consider this person a Christian. I think they are crazy person who believes the stuff they make up, in his case about what the Bible says. This person obviously doesn’t know what’s in the Bible, or is using some weird Bible in which a Christ (who may or may not be Jesus) thinks hating is cool.
So to move on to the second “presentation”, this one happened in real life, and there was beer involved, so we are relying on my memory of the event. Let me assure you before we start, this one is far more fun and amusing then the last.
The setting: The garage of the guy (friend of friend) who I am talking too, after one “chugged for speed” beer and for me an additional half a beer. I had got there late so I was WAY behind:
ME: < Rambling about Ren. Faire and good beer and being a smartass> Blah Blah…My lady can’t drink yet so she drives. It convenient like that
Him: Dude your chick is underage, isn’t that illegal?
Me: Ummmm no she’s over 18.
Him: Well the girls on the internet have to be 21 or the police will get you for child porn.
Me: The age of consent in Ca. is 18, it’s legal.
Him: you mean you can DO them before you can get them drunk? (As a joke) I can’t seem to get a woman without getting her drunk first, so how would that work for me?
Me: (laughing) Yeah I can see your problem.
Him: So are her friends hot too?
Me: ummmm well I suppose, we have a lot of mutual friends from Ren.Faire, so
Him: No I mean like hot friends, her age you could have threesomes with; Girls her age are ALL in to that.
Me: (trying not to make a comment about how he just said he thought was Illegal so how would he know) I don’t think she has any friends like that, She’s not in to that sort of thing.
Him: So you guy don’t…. (I forget the phrase he used, but it was too good to replace so put your favorite term for sex here)
Me: Uh yeah but…just us.
Him: really?? I thought girls that age who put out were ALL in to group stuff?
Me…
And then I changed the subject.
Now that’s not exact but it’s really close. The term “child porn” is a quote, as is the last statement by him. The rest is pulled from a buzzed memory so may be off, but not by much. Also to be fair, he was slurring his words in a fashion that suggested he had consumed far more beer then I had.
So yeah, that my pair of “age caused weirdness” stories. If they hadn’t of happened so close together I would have let it slide, but two like that in two weeks…MY readers must know. Just to be clear these are extreme reactions, not typical. Most people could care less about the age difference. I just thought I would share some themed madness while both stories were fresh.
Bradleyman